Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
