I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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