If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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