You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm going to jail i love you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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