My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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