What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
