U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
