i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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