Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
