everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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