I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
