Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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