I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just want nice things and good sex
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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