he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
