i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
