I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
