Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
