I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
