i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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