Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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