dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
