yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
