he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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