Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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