Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
