whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
