i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
