thus making me awesome and them whores
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
