You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
