Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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