Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
