So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
