if you like me you must not know who I am
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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