New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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