So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
