Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Boobs are out for the taking
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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