I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
