Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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