Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
