He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
