Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
