Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
