I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
