guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
True strength comes from lack of pants
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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