this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
