How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
