What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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