who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have fence marks all over my body
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
