I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
