First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
