My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
