I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
