Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
