Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
